Who Told You That You Should? - Week 2: Meet Her Again, Saying Should Bye™

Meet Her Again

She isn’t who she was before motherhood, marriage, grief, divorce, caregiving, or the last child left home. She doesn’t need to become someone new—she needs to reconnect with the woman she is today.

I should keep the house cleaner.
I should cook more.
I should look better.
I should be more patient.
I should attend every event, remember every birthday and answer every text.

Have you ever stopped in the middle of one of those thoughts and asked, “Who told me that?”

We collect expectations throughout our lives. Some are spoken directly. Others are picked up by watching how the women around us lived.

Maybe you watched your mother take care of everyone without asking for help. Maybe you learned that a good wife keeps the peace or that a good mother puts her children first every single time.

Maybe you were praised for being easygoing, responsible or low-maintenance. People liked knowing they could count on you, so you kept becoming more countable.

Eventually, an expectation can feel like part of your personality.

You may say, “That’s just who I am.”

But is it?

Are you naturally the person who wants to host every holiday, or are you afraid people will be disappointed if you don’t?

Do you really want to say yes, or have you learned that saying no requires an explanation you don’t have the energy to give?

Do you enjoy taking care of everything, or does being needed make you feel safe?

There aren’t perfect answers to these questions. You may love taking care of the people in your life. You may also feel exhausted by always being the one who remembers, organizes, anticipates and fixes.

Both can be true.

The Should Bye™ Method starts with noticing the expectations running through your mind. Then we become curious about where they came from and whether they still belong in your life.

Some shoulds reflect things you deeply value. You may decide to keep them because they matter to you.

Others were handed to you years ago and never questioned. They may have made sense to someone else, during another time or for an earlier version of you.

You’re allowed to reconsider them.

That doesn’t make you selfish or unreliable. It means you’re paying attention to the life you are actually living.

This week, write down one “should” you hear yourself repeating.

Beside it, write:
Who taught me this?
Do I still believe it?
How would my life feel if I stopped measuring myself by it?

You don’t have to throw it away today. Start by looking at it honestly.

You may discover that the woman you are meeting has been carrying expectations she never chose.

SwEll peakX™
Changing the world one vibration at a time.