Meet The Woman Beneath The Shoulds - Week 1: Meet Her Again, Saying Should Bye™

Meet Her Again

She isn’t who she was before motherhood, marriage, grief, divorce, caregiving, or the last child left home. She doesn’t need to become someone new—she needs to reconnect with the woman she is today.

Last month, we started talking about meeting her again.

The woman you are today. The one who has lived through the changes, losses, surprises, relationships and responsibilities that have shaped your life.

Maybe you started asking yourself what you enjoy now. Maybe you noticed what makes you feel alive or remembered something you used to love. Maybe you realized that you have no idea what you want because it has been a very long time since anyone asked. Including yourself.

As you try to hear her, you may notice another voice answering first.

I should be doing more.
I should go to the gym.
I should answer that email.
I should clean the house before I relax.
I should be more involved.
I should stop complaining because other people have it worse.

Should can be loud.

It follows us into our mornings, sits beside us while we work and climbs into bed with us at night. Even when we accomplish ten things, it reminds us of the eleventh thing we didn’t finish.

Somewhere along the way, many women learned that being good meant being available. We became skilled at noticing what everyone else needed before they had to ask. Then we started feeling guilty anytime we wanted something that didn’t involve taking care of another person.

That guilt can make it difficult to meet yourself again. Every time she starts to tell you what she wants, a “should” interrupts her.

She says, “I’m tired.”
Should says, “You haven’t done enough to rest.”

She says, “I miss having fun.”
Should says, “There are more important things to do.”

She says, “I want something for myself.”
Should immediately asks how that choice might inconvenience everyone else.

This week, I want you to notice that conversation.

You don’t have to change every expectation or make a big announcement about your new boundaries. Simply listen for the word “should.”

When does it appear? What does it ask of you? How does it make you feel?

Then ask yourself one question:

Is this something I genuinely want, something I need to do or something I’ve been taught I should do?

You may be surprised by how many of your daily decisions are being made by guilt instead of choice.

Meeting her again begins by giving her enough quiet to speak.

She may have a lot to say once the shoulds stop answering for her.

SwEll peakX™
Changing the world one vibration at a time.